No surprise: Thanksgiving-flavored candy corn is just as disgusting as it sounds

For some, candy corn’s regular flavor is already questionable. So what happens when you add savory and sweet Thanksgiving flavors into the mix?

By Wells DunbarNovember 22, 2021 1:56 pm, ,

As a dietician, Heather Martin makes food her business. So this Central Texan was intrigued when she came across a special bag of Brach’s candy corn.

This limited edition confection featured the flavors of a savory turkey dinner, including the tastes of green beans, stuffing and cranberry sauce, plus desert and a cup of joe.

Not only did Martin survive this harrowing holiday experience, she tweeted through it too: her viral thread has been shared over 10,000 times. She joined Texas Standard to talk about the sugary highs – but mainly lows – of these questionable confections. Listen to the interview in the audio player above or in the transcript below.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.

Texas Standard: Before we get into your review of this product, candy corn is divisive enough under normal circumstances. Do you like to eat it, putting aside your dietitian hat for a moment?

Heather Martin: The regular orange and yellow kind? Not especially; it’s not one of my favorite things.

So what does the special edition candy corn taste like?

Well, it depends on which flavor you try. It’s terrible. I was excited, actually. I went out of my way to get a bag as soon as I heard about it, and apparently it was out last year, too. But this is the first year I heard about it, and I love this kind of thing, so I snapped it up.

Some of the pieces are green; I presume those are the beans?

It’s called the “green bean” one; that’s not what it tastes like.

What does it taste like?

Greeb tea is the closest I can come to it, but as I said in the tweet it has dirt overtone, and I’m not kidding. It’s not hyperbole; it really does.

What about some of the other pieces? What’s the verdict on the turkey- and gravy-flavored candy corn?

It tastes like turkey. A friend of mine tried it and noted that it tasted sort of like TV dinner turkey. And I think that’s really accurate. It’s terrible. The stuffing is the worst one. It’s a very, it’s really a violent sage, and that’s really the only flavor; maybe a little onion? Really bad.

I think you’re holding back a bit because online, you called the stuffing candy corn an “unrepentant violation of the Geneva convention.”

Yeah, I really feel [Brachs] went out of their way to try to hurt me!

We’re joking about this stuff, but I can’t help but think that there are going to be some kids reaching into the bag as a substitute for sitting down and having a real Thanksgiving meal. Are you concerned about that as a dietitian?

Dietitians – it’s a common misconception that we’re the food police, and, actually, this tweet thread came out of a work chat. I did a live tasting with my coworkers, my other dietitians, and we all think that foods like this have a place. It gets people talking and that’s a good thing.

What would you say is the best overall flavor if you had to pick one?

If you want to enjoy one, the coffee one, for sure, is the best one.

I would have thought apple pie would be the winner. How does that one taste?

The apple pie one was a little bland, very one-note. I think I described it as tasting like it had been in the room with an apple pie-scented candle; not much flavor.

You ended your thread on social media with a suggestion for what to do with a bag of Brach’s turkey dinner, apple pie and coffee candy corn. What was it?

I think it would be hilarious, depending on your family – assuming you don’t have anybody with a really sensitive palate – just put it out in a bowl and don’t say a word.

Let everyone enjoy a Turkey dinner by way of candy corn, I guess, that’s the recommendation?

It might be worth picking out the good flavors and putting them on top! You know, just, so it’s a slow burn.

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