Typewriter Rodeo: I-35

Each week, the Standard reaches out to Austin’s Typewriter Rodeo for a custom poem on Texas topics.

By Sean Petrie October 14, 2016 10:05 am,

Highways are supposed to let us get around local traffic, across town or to the next big city quickly. But anyone who has lived in Texas for more than a week knows that there’s one exception to the rule: Interstate 35. Locals who live along the highway itself avoid it on their daily commutes. Long-distance travelers will drive an extra two hours on backroads just to ensure they won’t have to use it. But sometimes you just have to, sometimes there’s no choice, sometimes you sigh and say, “Let’s try I-35.”

I-35

Oh holy hell

I mean really,

If there were a highway

To that place?

This

Would be it

Is it possible

That a road construction contract

Can really have a deadline

Of “eternity”?

Is it possible

That a highway can stretch across

This great big state

And still be bumper-to-bumper

At every

Single

Point?

They say the road to there

Is paved with good intentions

But I beg to differ ––

Because this stretch of pavement

With its intermittent concrete side slabes

With its never-ending “improvements”

This, oh this,

Is its own asphalt underworld

So let me add to that list ––

The only things certain

Are death, taxes,

And never

Ever

Take 35.