Wanna Talk Like a Texan? Give These Letters the Boot

Do you take lemon in your eisty?

By W.F. Strong & Emily DonahueMay 20, 2015 8:38 am

In the classic Texas English dialect, there are a good number of letters you don’t need. You can get rid of ‘em. There’s a case in point right there. You can dispense with the “th” in them. Just say “em. Get rid of ‘em. There’s a wonderful hybrid word built around ‘em and it is Momnem’s. “We’re goin’ for supper over at Momnem’s house.”

If I were teaching a non-native Texan to speak in the classic Texas dialect, this is what I’d say:

First, eliminate all the g’s on the ing endings. If you’re wantin’ to get to talkin’ like a classic Texan, elimatin your g’s is good start.

You also want to dispense with the “a” on appreciate. Just say “preciate it.” “preciate all you’ve done for us partner.” “‘preciate your droppin by for a visit.” You can drop out the “A” in American, too. Just say, ‘merican. Similarly you can toss out the the e in especially. Just say, “I bought this “specially for you.” Or “Couldn’t be true, specially considering I wudn’t even there.”

“Next you can confidently ditch the “e” on enough. Just say “nuff.” “Nuff said.” “Don’t need to hear another word. Been “nuff said about that!”

We can get rid of H’s that begin a word. We don’t say Herb like the British do. We say URB. We are also humble, not humble. And the classic Texas dialect doesn’t require the H in Houston, either. Uston will do. Uston. Drivin’ into Uston to get some Herb. Sounds like something Wille would say.

To sound like a classic Texan you will want to take the final “w” off of window and pillow. Then switch out that “o” for an “a.” Say winda and pilla. Can you hand me the pilla that’s over by the winda?

Now ditch the d on Iced Tea. It is, technically, iced tea, but who says that? Even when it is written in many restaurants, the “d” is nowhere to found. So we just say ICE tea and some Texans squeeze the words together to make it one. ICETEA. Rhymes with feisty that way. I’ll have sugar eisty with a lemon, please maem.

You can generally dispense with the “a” in about . How ‘bout we go see a movie? How ‘bout them Cowboys. We have said how ‘bout them Cowboys” so long that we have forgotten it is grammatically wrong. Should be How about those Cowboys, but that is just nerd grammar. So right it’s wrong.

Another serious grammatical sin, in some people’s eyes, is ain’t. Ain’t is a contraction of are not.

You drop out the “r” the “e” and the “o” and add an ‘i”, which ain’t half bad if you’re lookin’ for creative contractions.

And though considered an uneducated expression, ain’t is used often between the most educated of Texans as a bond of friendship: “you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, buddy.” Reminds me of the great Texas baseball player and later, great sports broadcaster, Dizzy Dean, who was taken to task by an English Teacher for using ain’t in his broadcasts. He said, “There’s a lot of people ain’t usin’ ain’t, ain’t eatin..”