Typewriter Rodeo: Out of Office Email Responder

Each week, the Standard reaches out to Austin’s Typewriter Rodeo for a custom poem on Texas topics.

By Jodi EgertonDecember 10, 2021 11:28 am, ,

It’s the time of year for time off. And for anyone trying to get in touch with someone else, it’s the time of year for automatic replies. That was the inspiration for this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Out of Office Email Responder


Thank you for your inquiry.

I’m out of the office

And I don’t have access to my email.


I mean,

I’m not really out of the “office”

As the office is, of course, my bed

Where I manage your project

While tucked under four weighted blankets

And wearing my snuggly pajama pants

And my respectable Zoom shirt


Regardless, I will not be able to reply to your email

As I’ve changed my email password

And I did not write down the new one


Also I have shut down my computer

Extracted the hard drive

Stuck that into a cardboard box

Wrapped it up in a lovely jewel-toned tissue paper

With a shiny red bow on top

And deposited it on top of a lamp post

Four blocks from my home.


If you have a work-related request

Please reach out to my colleague

Who likely also has an auto-responder on

That will send you back to me

Which is probably an indication

That you should put an auto-responder on too


Thanks, and hope we’ve been of service!

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