Typewriter Rodeo: Why the Barbie Movie is Causing so Many Break-Ups: Some Theories

Each week, the Standard reaches out to Austin’s Typewriter Rodeo for a custom poem.

By Shanna GerlachSeptember 29, 2023 10:52 am, , ,

The Barbie film was one of the summer’s runaway hits. Some may be still feeling ripple effects from it. That inspired this Typewriter Rodeo poem.

Why the Barbie Movie is Causing so Many Break-Ups: Some Theories

1. your boyfriend isn’t Ryan Gosling,
and while this has been able to live in the
back of your head for your entire
relationship thus far, there’s no
ignoring it now.

2. your boyfriend genuinely lives in a
mojo dojo casa house, and it is nowhere
near as clean or charming as Ken’s is.

3. your boyfriend has started humming Push
by Matchbox 20 in the shower. and in the car.
and during dinner. and in his

4. your boyfriend has stopped looking for a job,
claiming he already has one. (some days it’s
“beach.” somedays “eat.” some days “sleep.”
never “earn money by being a responsible

5. your boyfriend’s closet has become
increasingly taken over by oversized
mink coats, denim vests, and neon sweatsuits,
and he won’t even let you borrow them.

6. your boyfriend keeps getting arrested by
the venice beach police, and his mugshots
look better than yours.

7. your boyfriend disappears for three hours every
evening. he says it’s for choreography
rehearsal with “the boys,” and when you
tail him once, you realize he’s been
telling the truth.

8. when you tear up over and over in the theater,
(between laughing at jokes that fly over your boyfriend’s head)
he just really
doesn’t get why, of all things,
the Barbie movie made you feel seen.

a photo of the typewritten poem on a torn half sheet of yellowish paper

typewriter rodeo logoTypewriter Rodeo airs each Friday on Texas Standard. Send us your ideas for a poem on Facebook or Twitter, or send us an email.

Typewriter Rodeo is also available anytime in podcast form.

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